The Top Ten Comix That Should be Made into Films

With self-proclaimed JewBu, Robert Downey Jr. smacking down the big screen with Iron Man and a plethora of comic book movies in our future, it is fair to say that the sequential artform has conquered pop culture. The money is just flying all over the place. With Stan Lee producing three flicks, Ron Perlman returning as Hellboy and Eisner’s Spirit coming in for Xmas it is safe to say that the relationship between comix and Jews is more than self-evident. To learn more about the history of this connection, check out this forthcoming book by JPS. Who knows why comics like Wanted or Whiteout get made into movies will others remain untapped? No one asked, but here’s my wishlist of the next translations of comix to film. Maybe some muckity-mucks out there read blogs?

10 American Born Chinese
This Eisner nominated graphic novel was one of the most critically acclaimed graphic novels of 2006. There’s an alacrity and charming pace to this story that will leave you with a smile. Mixing Chinese folklore of the monkey king with a straightforward story about accepting yourself and your heritage make this movie the thinking man’s after school special. The mix of raw emotions and whimsy make it an ideal canvas for innovative visual directors like Michel Gondry or Guillermo Del Toro.
Casting Dream:That kid from that crazy disturbing Japanese film Nobody Knows
Ideal Director: Michel Gondry or Spike Jonze

9 Dokter Sleepless
“Whoa!” That’s pretty much my reaction to each new issue of this Marshall McLuhan on acid dystopian romp that confirms yet again why Warren Ellis is one of the best writers in comics today. This sci-fi, culture-jamming tale is smart, snarky and shockingly scary if its prescient view of society and technology comes true. With his wiki and online following growing Dokter Sleepless would be the ideal mass released webfilm. The future is blinding and the Dokter’s shades may protect him, but you and I are in some deep doodoo if this is what our future holds!
Casting Dream:Topher Grace as the Dokter, Katherine Hegel as Nurse Igor
Ideal Director:Terry Gilliam or Tom Tykwer

8 Runaways
The writers of Lost wooed Brian K. Vaughn away from the comic book industry and the first casualty of this action is this (formerly) amazingly awesome series created by BKV and Adrian Alphona. What happens when a bunch of teens discover that their parents actually ARE evil?! Great idea, great execution. Joss Whedon was so impressed with this comic that he took over the writing duties after BVK bowed out. Only now, Runaways has not come out regularly for over a year and all the cool characters that BKV created are morphing into archetypes Whedon created with Buffy. Nevertheless, the first 30 issues of this series would grant ample material to inspire an edgy version of Freaks and Geeks or Gossip Girls.Update: Looks like I’m not the only one with this idea?!
Casting Dream: Unknown actors please!!
Ideal Director:Joss Whedon (maybe…)

7 Next Men
Before Heroes and before the Matrix there was John Byrne’s classic from the 90s. Sexually transmitted superpowers and freakishly natural ramifications of superhuman science made this flagship title of Darkhorse Comics a break away hit during its mid-90s run. The series was dramatically cut short with plot lines dangling but it still captures a place in the pantheon of worthy super-hero serials. Erotic sex scenes, government conspiracies, time-travel and constantly shifting alliances between characters keeps Next Men in pace with a typical Lost episode. Next Men would be best suited as an FX series.
Casting Dream:Gabriel Union, James Vanderbee, and a juiced up red-headed dude
Ideal Director:The directing teams behind Angel or Dexter

6 Human Target
This is the reverse Buffy the Vampire Slayer of the list. Meaning, a failed TV pilot from 1990 with Rick Springfield in the title role, could easily be turned around into a successful film franchise today. The Human Target is Christopher Chance a bodyguard who assumes the identity of people who are targeted for death. Complications and drama ensue since Mr. Chance is a schizophrenic who loses his identity in each client that he impersonates. Think Quantum Leap meets Momento meets the Transporter and you have the Human Target. Sharp dialogue and subtle social commentaries on topics ranging from crack whores to 911 swindlers, makes the Human Target a diamond in the rough. Base the first movie on the phenomenal limited series by Milligan and the amazing Biukovic and two more sequels on any of the tight stories from the short-lived run from 03-05.
Casting Dream:George Clooney as Christopher Chance, Megan Fox as Jade the Assassin
Ideal Director:David Fincher

5 SuperMarket
At first glance it is the art that makes this work so vivid and ripe for adaptation. Kristian Donaldson’s palate is one of the most unique and lively color treatments I have ever seen in comics. Brian Wood’s bang up concept and juicy plot, however make this more than just a story with pretty pictures. A Japanese/Swedish girl discovers her parents dead in her home and must escape yakuza killers and the Swedish Porn Syndicate (think Fembots) to discover who she really is and why her parents were murdered. Killer cinematography and a bangin’ soundtrack could make this a monster smash appealing to guys and girls fascinated by the mash-ups of East and West.
Casting Dream:A Japanese-Nordic hybrid with the spunk of Ellen Page and the vulnerability of Lauren Ambrose.
Ideal Director: Tarsem

4 Sandman Mystery Theatre
Everyone and their goth cousin loves the Neil Gaiman series Sandman; everyone but me. I preferred the Matt Wagner counterpart based upon the golden age version of the character. With a moody color palette established by series regular Guy Davis, Sandman Mystery Theatre presented seedy noir mysteries that revealed the darker tendencies of human behavior. However, the romance between Wesley and Dian served as lighter counterbalance and included some sassy innuendos that often made me blush. The idea of a fedora wearing, gas-masked pudgy man in a pin-striped suit saving the day AND getting the girl deserves to reach a wider audience.
Casting Dream:Phillip Seymour Hoffman as Wesley Dodds, Kate Winslet as Dian Belmont
Ideal Director:Neil Burger (The Illusionist) or Ang Lee

3 Blacksad
Anthropomorphic noir created by a former Disney animator, Blacksad is a gem of a comic book. Using the characteristics of animals to accentuate and reveal the motivations of the characters, Blacksad includes unctuous informants as weasels, white supremacists as polar bears and German shepards as police chiefs. Supposedly the movie has already been greenlit with Incredible Hulk Director Louis Leterrier at the helm, but I think it is a big mistake to make this live action. Pixar could build off of the French film Immortel and come up with a much more sumptuous visual palate that could do the original justice and then some.
Casting Dream:Pixar
Ideal Director:Brad Bird

2 Starman
This is Jim Jarmusch’s best film ever; he just doesn’t know it yet! Far and away his greatest movie isGhostDog: The Way of the Samurai, where Jarmusch reveals that he understands the mythos of heroism as well as the art of recontextualizing silly cartoons to sublime narrative effect. Starman is a meticulously crafted story about the tension between family obligation and duty to oneself. Revisiting the nostalgia of Golden Age comics, transforming d-list villains into enthralling character studies (the Shade is on my all-star villain football team) and introducing perhaps the most sexually charged arch nemesis in comicdom makes Starman complex, engaging and helluv fun. With DC about to release the new omnibus, the time is ripe to restart the Starman film franchise (sorry Mr. Bridges) as homage to the sequential art form and the world of memorabilia as whole. Jack knight and crew deserve the layered texture that only Jarmusch could afford them, but I wonder if a tightly produced HBO series would better suit the story.
Casting Dream:Michael C. Hall as Jack Knight, Winona Ryder as Nash, Harrison Ford as Ted Knight
Ideal Director:Jim Jarmusch

1 Grendel
It’s hard to believe that Tarantino didn’t snatch up the rights to this series and make a craptacular film(thank heaven for Deathproof!?). Instead, Grendel looms out of the spotlight except to those people who associate it with naked Angelina Jolie. Their loss because the mammoth spectacle of a series of films that could be Grendel would be spellbinding. Each film directed by a cutting edge artist dealing with the underlying aggression in all humanity as the common thread. Brilliance twisted into a macabre dance of film frenzy! Vivat Grendel
Casting Dream:Asia Argento as Christine Spar(with Daddy directing!?),Rodrigo Santoro as Orion Asante, jacked-up and bald Brad Pitt as Grendel Prime(don’t worry he doesn’t talk much)
Ideal Director: Takashi Miike(Warchild), Tim Burton or Genndy Tartakovsky(Orion), Dario Argento(Devil’s Legacy), Baz Luhrmann(Four Devils, One Hell)